


Sarge's Birthday

by AspenDrake



Series: Points of Confusion [3]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-02-03 11:06:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12747078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AspenDrake/pseuds/AspenDrake
Summary: I wanted to take a momentary break from 'Points of Confusion', so I wrote a birthday short for Sarge. It's honestly shorter than I wanted, but meh.





	Sarge's Birthday

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to take a momentary break from 'Points of Confusion', so I wrote a birthday short for Sarge. It's honestly shorter than I wanted, but meh.

Sarge grunted as he opened his eyes. His alarm clock should be going off by now. Nothing. There was no noise. He shot upright. Or, he tried to. His sheets had been tucked in so tightly, he couldn’t move. The Red instinctively tried to grab for his shotgun, but the sheets wouldn’t let him do that.

Doc walked in without his glasses, squinting and blindly feeling around.

“Doc! Doc!” Sarge tried to call for him. The medic turned in a full circle, squinting even harder.

“No, more to your left!” Doc swung right.

“Other left!” Still turned right.

“Farther.” Now left.

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?” Sarge roared. Doc yelped and crouched into a ball, covering his head and shaking slightly. 

“No fair! They know I can’t see without my glasses,” the medic blurted. “They stole my glasses this morning and shoved me into here. I’ve been trying to find someone, but I seriously can’t see!” Sarge snorted.

“Follow the sound of my voice and get over here,” the Red started. Doc stood, turning away from him by accident. Sarge started rattling off instructions on how to clean his shotgun. Doc managed to find his way to Sarge, accidentally placing one of his hands over Sarge’s face.

“Hey!” Sarge barked. Doc hastily removed his hand.

“So, what’s the problem?” he asked. 

“Well, someone made sure I can’t get out of my own bed and disabled my alarm clock. I need you to pull my sheets loose so I can get out!” Sarge ordered. Doc patted his chest in the attempt to find the top of the sheet. Finally, he found the edge and pulled as hard as he could. 

The sheets came off after a bit of struggling from Sarge, sending Doc stumbling backward. The small medic landed on his rear, still clutching the sheets.

“Thanks,” Sarge grunted, grabbing his shotgun. Unsurprisingly, he had worn most of his armor in his sleep. He grabbed his helmet, jamming it onto his head. Doc stood up, fumbling again. The Red looked at the medic before picking him up and slinging him over his shoulder. He strode out of his room, marching out of the small building, and to the mess hall. 

“SURPRISE!” A loud chorus of cheering met his ears. Doc squirmed, attempting to see, but Sarge was too shocked to let him go. The freelancers, Reds, Blues, lieutenants, and Kimball had all managed to set up a party. All the decorations were in shades of red, although there was some brown thrown in. And some grey. Probably Caboose’s doing. 

“Wh- wuh?” Sarge stammered. Simmons stepped forward, holding out a pair of glasses.

“Happy birthday, sir!” he laughed. Sarge slackened his hold on Doc, making the poor medic fall to the floor. Donut shot to the medic, pulling him to his feet. The pink soldier snagged the glasses from Simmons, handing them to Doc.

Grif lumbered out from the kitchens, carrying a large bowl of ice. 

“Hey, Tucker. I can’t find- oh,” he cut himself off. “Yeah. Uhh. Oh, what was that, cooks? You found a knife? I’ll be right back!” There wasn’t anybody in the kitchen aside from Grif. Sarge shook himself out of his shock.

“So, you’re telling me that all this was a plan to make sure I was stuck long enough for you to finish setting this up?” he asked. Everyone nodded, Caboose noticeably late. 

“We wanted to throw you a birthday party, but if you walked in here before we got it all finished, it would have been ruined,” Tucker smirked.

“So, Simmons swiped Doc’s glasses, and we put him in your building so he’d eventually get you loose,” Wash piped up.

“And then! This would be the best party ever!” Caboose cheered.

“TUCKER!” Grif bellowed. “GET YOUR SORRY SWORD IN HERE BEFORE I FIGURE OUT A NEW USE FOR IT!” The dark-skinned man squeaked and darted into the kitchen. In his defense, Grif was scary when he was mad.  
__________  
It took a bit, but eventually, Grif sent Tucker out with a cake for Sarge. Vanilla with red frosting. Apparently, Donut had prepared it, and the Hawaiian put it in the oven. Grif was working on a special treat for everyone. After a few more minutes, he came out with a set of paper comes with shaved ice in them. Each one was colored like their armor.

Everyone decided to give their gifts right away. Caboose gave him a mechanical beetle. According to the Blue, its name was Stinky. Tucker tried to give him some ‘Adult’ magazines, but Wash shot those into pieces. Carolina gave him a shot-gun cleaning kit, Donut gave him some beauty items, Lopez swore at him and gave him some new wrenches, Doc gave him some honey- a rare commodity on Chorus-, and Wash got the Red an armor-cleaning kit. The lieutenants had worked together to get him a very nice dart board, complete with very sharp darts. Kimball hadn’t really gotten him anything, but she did get him a nice card.

At some point, Stinky got lost, but was found when it picked up Simmons and continued to run around in panicked circles. All in all, Sarge had to admit this was his favorite birthday ever. Of all time.


End file.
